Facebook encourages fooling around?

A New Jersey pastor a few days ago asked his married church members to delete their Facebook accounts because, he said, using that social medium encourages adultery. Facebook, in his opinion, makes it too easy for spouses to reunite with old flames or, presumably, find new ones, thus beginning a slippery slide into fooling around.

At my men’s Bible study meeting Thursday there was mixed reaction to the pastor’s edict. We split, two-two (it was a small group this week) regarding whether Facebook is a real problem or not.

Even my wife and I are divided on the issue. My argument is that Facebook (or at least its facilitating abilities) is just one of the many “temptations” dangled in our face. My belief is that if you are prone to cheat on your spouse, or are in a “bad” marriage, you don’t need the road to perdition greased by Facebook. You’ll find a way no matter what.

I may be wrong. In fact, one of the members of my Bible study is an ordained minister now in the private counseling business. He’s had infinitely more experience than I in dealing with martial discord and pulls no punches when he says that the Internet is the worst thing that’s ever happened relative to marriages in that it provides an expressway to porn addiction.

Facebook, he says, offers a similar toll-free ride to relationships that can wreck a marriage. I respect his opinion. It stems from empirical observation, not a preconceived Biblical position (i.e., conservative Christian). He knows whereof he speaks.

I’ll also admit that my view may be–I’m not sure–skewed by the fact I’m old: my testosterone tank is running low. I’m not driven by the same impulses (strength of impulses?) that I was 20 or 30 years ago. I’m on Facebook, to be frank, for commercial reasons. It’s a vehicle to promote myself as a novelist. If I connect with some old friends, or make news ones along the way, fine. Beyond that, I’m damn happy with my wife of 40-plus years.

And you, what’s your view on the New Jersey pastor’s request?


  1. Frank G. on April 27, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Hi Buzz…I hope you're doing well!
    I tend to believe the internet and programs like Facebook can make it easier to destroy one's marriage but, as you mentioned, human beings will find a way to get what they want regardless of how low the fruit is hung in front of them. I guess we're always worried we're missing out on something; someone has something better than what we have. My theory is that the gorgeous chick on the internet (Facebook, etc.) likely has some other guy at home who either is ready to swallow arsenic or is drooling over something else on the internet.

    Just my two cents…just made it past my 12th anniversary and I'm still in one piece. 🙂


  2. Buzz Bernard on April 27, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Your two cents are worth as much as mine, Frank. Good to hear from you. Now hang in there for another 12 years. It's not necessarily easy, but boy, is it worth it.

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